Friday, November 23, 2012

The one about the really long day


Ever have one of those days you feel like goes on for days? Like when a football game is for 11 a.m.—you start tailgating at 9orwhatevertimeyouwakeup, go to the game (or skip it) and then rally until the early hours of the morn? Boom. Had one of those marathon days last Saturday. Lawd have mercy, I never thought so much could happen in a 24-hour time period.

Just dancin'. Woo! I am an athlete!
Friday night (into Saturday morning, duh): After a 5-car caravan from Oxford to Bush (Bush is my town—in JNONO [Just North Of New Orleans] pronounced Ja-no-no-- that's made up) my friends and I went out in my town and had a dang blast. Tam, my sweet mommy, was our DD in her ex-minivan and she chauffeured us from our pregame location (where I had the world’s best etouffee that I can’t stop thinking about) to our bar of choice and back home. Side note: Mere and I found some (oldish) men to “sponsor” us to get into the bar. Finding sponsors when I go out is my newest hobby. Calling someone a sponsor makes them feel like they are doing charity work when they donate a couple dollars to the FUNd. See what I did there? Regardless, this local bar was so fun. And now I’m addicted to local bars and the spicy bands that play at them. Didn’t I just mention spicy bands in a previous blahg entry? I feel like I did. Could be a problem.

Whatever. Next day was Saturday: Woke up at the butt crack of dawn to drive to the city (the city= NOLA) for the run. We were  draggin’, but perky. Without going into too much detail for the legal 
reasons and since my blahg is public… (Yay for strangers who read my blahg! You rock! Especially you, kind stranger who religiously reads it in Germany.) …

At least it has some character?
I got in a wreck.

Womp, womp, womp. FAQs:

Was it your fault?
Merh. Yes. Duh. I always hit stuff. Not normally moving vehicles, but rather: garbage cans, curbs, animals, my parent's cars etc. I was trying to make a right hand turn into a parking lot that snuck up on me. I was in the left lane (which means there was a right lane next to me) and when my fellow drivers in the car said “Turn! Turn! Turn!” (not blaming the wreck on them, because it was DEF my fault, but you know how it is with a car full of peeps) I obvi turned. And heaven forbid I LOOK and see if a car was coming. Gah. I’m still depressed over it. I feel irresponsible and I am so paranoid on the road now. It’s probably good for me.

Did you get a ticket?
HELLO? I broke like 12 laws. Of course I got a ticket. Same day as I bought my plane ticket. And my court date is the day I leave for England. (Did I mention I’m going to England?! I’m going to England for 5 months.) Help me. I’m poor.

Was anyone hurt?
No. But I did hit a cop. Like the car I hit in the wreck, yeah, it was being driven by a real life police woman. I have great luck. Good thing she was in her Hyundai and not her Orleans parish cop car. I probably would have had heart failure.
Adam thought this picture was a good idea.
It's funny. But my face looks deformed.

And that’s that. Then we ran the race. We STARTED the race an hour later than all the other participants (sorry frands) but still had fun. It was like running through a colorful ghost town. Unique experience.

My parents treated us to lunch and then I drove to Baton Rouge (in my ghetto car whose passenger door no longer opens and doesn’t have a side view mirror) to see my carazay folks there. No kidding. They’re cray. Baton Rouge just does it so differently than Oxford and it’s always a good time. We played Guess Who which I kicked booty at while drinking Crush and Pinnacle (Luke was so impressed I guessed exactly the beverage, down to the brand name, that he made me.) Brent and I added a nice twist when we played a few rounds of “no questions about physical appearance” i.e. “Does your person have blue eyes? Brown hair? etc.” but rather, questions like, “Is your person Jewish? Does your person own a bottle of hairspray? Does your person have a desk job? Is your person a pedophile?” One day Brent’s going to hire me to be his Dental Hygienist. Cool, huh? Right, Brent? Also, thanks for sponsoring me at Bogie's.

Then we went out. Saw my best frands. Went to the bathroom with Cydney. Why girls always go to the bathroom in pairs, I’ll never understand. But I do it. It’s like Noah’s ark. My phone was brilliantly in my back pocket and it wasn’t until I was done doing my thang that we both looked down and saw my phone chillin’ in the pot. We about died laughing, but instead of having good reflexes and grabbing it out, we managed to snap a pic first on Cyd’s phone. Then she reached her hand in and grabbed my phone out and saved the day. And it was nothing short of a miracle:

IT WORKED! Then I announced to everyone I saw for the rest of the night that my phone survived several minutes in a bar toilet in its $20 case. HEYO.

We stayed out super late (because bars stay open later than midnight-- mind boggling), ate pizza rolls, slept 3 people in a full size bed, and sweated. Then the day ended. And when I woke up the next day, my car was still wrecked.

But I’m thankful for my phone still working, for safety, and for my friends, and my family, and cops, and for The Walking Dead, which I’ve watched 3 seasons of in 5 days.


Monday, November 12, 2012

The camping one


I haven’t blahgged in over a week and I didn’t even get any complaints. Does no one care that the blahg is bahk? No one?!? Maybe I should just stop blahgging. Y’all know I’m blahmotionally insecure and need constant reassurance.

Whatever. I’ll blahg for myself. Hmph.

Last weekend, my sweet frands and I decided to drop everything (we don’t have much to drop) and go camping. From the outside, we probably look like naturey folks. We do do (do do… ha ha… name that show) lots of naturey things, but despite that: WE’RE NOT. Chase was in charge of checking the weather. He’s got a really great GPA, and although he’s no boy scout, I thought we could count on him to keep us dry for the 24 hours we were planning to be gone.

This is how pretty and happy I look when I'm hiking.
We rented a couple of the world’s smallest tents and the world’s smallest sleeping bags and trekked (drove) out to Tishomingo State Park-- Allegedly the most beautiful place in Mississippi (arguable, but beautiful.)

We briefly went hiking for long enough to appease the hikers while still keeping me (not a hiker) in a mediocre mood before sunset. We chose our camping site unanimously on the “primitive road,” set up camp (lit’rally) and started dinner. Which required us making a fire. Which hardly happened. Erika was in charge of that. While there were flames (a flame, rather), it was weak. WEAK, WEAK. Valiant effort.

But can I just say how dang delicious dinner was? I was in charge of that. **flips hair** We made hobo packs. For those of you who aren’t Annie Oakleyesque like myself, hobo packs are aluminum foil with foods of your choice thrown in and seasoned and put over the fire embers to cook. I sliced up a butt ton of onions, mushrooms, squash, chicken, broccoli, carrots etc. and set it up buffet style and we went to dang town. Except not. We were in the middle of no where. Man, it was yummy.

And then right after dinner we had to quickly pack up because our weather man with the good GPA didn’t predict the weather via the app on his phone too well and suddenly the world’s worst thunderstorm was approaching and we had to take cover in our protective tents. So we went to sleep. By like, 8:30. Judge us. I don’t even care. It was scary as all get out and we are BRAVE PEOPLE. See video. Turn up the volume to hear the rain.


Oh, and the wood we used to make for our campfire? We stole it from the church camp staying at the fancy cabins. It was an accident. Kind of. We would have died without that wood. It’s fine. Isn’t it? GOD MADE WOOD FOR ALL PEOPLE, OKAY? Yeah, see? Sometimes stealing is justifiable. 

Here's my hobo pack before I attacked it and after I attacked it.
Here's how to fit 3 men into a 2 men (really 1 man) tent. 


This was taken in the morning when I thought Chase looked
 really pretty and I just wanted to document the moment. 
Did I mention it was freezing? It was FREEZING.